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The Density Check
A balance that can tip two ways, and neither is marked good.
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Two ways to be wrong. Only one of them gets taught.
Learner repairs a paragraph that is over-packed and one that is under-packed, without being told which is which.
Preview · progress not saved — Chapter 1 is free
The whole chapter assembled, and which repair candidates never make.
The implementation of the closure of the libraries was unpopular.
1 How many verbs? one, and it is was
2 Who did it? gone — and it mattered
3 Package position? front, correctly
4 Density vs job? a claim, so density is fine
✓ The council's decision to close the libraries was unpopular.
A balance that can tip two ways, and neither is marked good.
Two ways to be wrong. Only one of them gets taught.
Four worked repairs. Two unpack, two pack.
1. There has been an improvement in the utilisation of resources by the department.
How many real verbs? · Is the doer present? This one needs [packing / unpacking]. Repaired: The department its resources better.
2. The council closed three libraries. People protested. It was reversed.
How many sentences carry a package? · Does it name anything? This one needs [packing / unpacking]. Repaired: The council closed three libraries. provoked protests, and were reversed in March.
3. The taking of the decision regarding the closure was a provocation of protest.
How many real verbs? · Is the doer present? This one needs [packing / unpacking]. Repaired: The council's decision to close the libraries protests.
4. Emissions fell after the ban. This continued for five years. Analysts were surprised by this.
Is the second package named, or bare? · Where does the third one sit? This one needs [packing / unpacking]. Repaired: Emissions fell after the ban. continued for five years and surprised analysts.
Two paragraphs, opposite faults. Nothing says which is which.
Paragraph A
The implementation of a reduction in library provision was undertaken by the council in 2019. (1) → In 2019 the council library provision.
The occurrence of protests was the immediate result. (2) → Protests immediately.
The decision to reverse the closures was taken in March. (3) → The decision to reverse the closures came in March.
The sharp fall in borrowing has continued regardless. (4) →
The explanation of this outcome is a matter of dispute among researchers. (5) → Researchers about why.
Paragraph B
The university raised its entry requirements in 2023. (6) →
Applications fell. It worried the admissions office. (7) → Applications fell. worried the admissions office.
They decided to lower them again. Nobody said who. (8) → decision to lower them again followed within a year.
The fall in applications was reversed by this. (9) → reversed the fall in applications.
The university's approach to admissions was changed permanently by the episode. (10) → The episode the university's approach to admissions permanently.
A body paragraph with at least one package doing a join.
Prompt: some governments are cutting funding for the arts to pay for healthcare. Is this a reasonable trade-off?
Write five sentences arguing one side.
At least one sentence must open with a noun phrase packaging the sentence before it. Nothing here tells you which density to use where.
One paragraph.
Which way do you usually go wrong?